Wishes
by GreenGirl111
Summary: A bunch of drabbles that connect to form a story of longing between Gale and Katniss, and how the separation affects them. Will they meet again? Had to change the summary, the old one was out of date.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, this is just a group of drabbles I'm going to make...you can review it anyway though (hint hint).

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><p>Katniss runs with tears streaming down her face. She had left Peeta that morning in search of Gale. She had found him, where he had said he was living. He hadn't said he was living with someone else. She was a small, delicate blond girl, nestled in his arms. She sees them through the window. They gave at each other with love in their eyes. Gale kisses her, and they get more and more passionate. Katniss feels her heart ripping as she sees him pick her up, and carry her into the next room.<p>

She could have been his...


	2. Chapter 2

Gale's POV

As I was lying with my wife sleeping besides me, I realized just how unhappy I was. I missed Katniss. She had been the one for me, I just knew it! I loved her, and I wanted her beside me, instead of this woman, who was shallow and weak compared to my Katniss. I missed hunting with her. I wanted her back. But she'd chosen Peeta.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer which I always forget: I don't own Hunger Games

This is probably the least appropriate thing I've ever written, so please review!

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><p>Gale's POV<p>

I was running as fast as I could, running alongside a train. On this train were all the competitors I knew from the Hunger Games. Finnick, Glimmer, Johanna, Mags, Hamitch, and so many more. Right on top of the train, looking down at me as I ran, were Peeta and Katniss, but they weren't really them. Peeta was larger, stronger, and crueler. Katniss was on fire, radiating beauty, in the gown of jewels.

"I chose Peeta, not you!" smirks Katniss, looking down at me as I was panting from exertion. "Get away from me!" Peeta wrapped his arm around her, and started kissing her. As he caressed her, and kissed her more passionately, he watched me, as if daring me to stop him, knowing I couldn't. He started pulling at the straps of her dress of fire, clawing at her hair and body, and her at him. Their bodies together, burning, Peeta's dirty hands all over Katniss. I couldn't take it. I charged straight at the train.

I sat bolt upright in bed. It had only been a dream, but it had felt so real.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't own Hunger Games/ any of it's characters

Sorry if this confuses you, I tried to combine a lot of things that I thought would be included in a nightmare of Katniss', like Gale being hurt, Rue's death, Glimmer's death, and Avox's

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><p>I wake up in the middle of a forest. I recognize this forest...it was the forest where Rue died. My hunter instincts kick in. I look around the clearing for the person who brought me here. I sees a flash of fabric, and follow it. Another flash, then another. It's two people. One obviously male, the other a female in a short blood-red dress. When they turn at a large oak tree, I see the man's face. It's Gale. I quicken my pace. Suddenly, I see the face of the woman, a face that makes my blood freeze. It's the face of Glimmer, before it was horribly mutated. But it's not really Glimmer, this woman is daintier, and kinder looking. She and Gale are running together, running as if their lives depended on it. They hold hands. Suddenly, they stop, and so do I. In the clearing is a small body, covered in flowers. Rue. Then, one of the vehicles used to transport the bodies in the games swoops in, and takes Rue. I cry out, I can't help it. They've taken her away from me again. Then, they come down for Gale. He tries to fight them, but they scoop him up in a net. He is carried up. The Glimmer-like girl cries out, and collapses in grief. I tries to shout out to her, tell her that he'll be okay. That I'll go after him, and find him. But I can't shout out. Something feels different about me. I run to the river, and gasp, but no sound comes out. Because I'm not Katniss, I'm the Avox girl.<p>

I wake up once I see the reflection of the Avox girl in the river. Everything in the dream was because of me, my fault. I am like an Avox, now, unable to help people, unable to tell them how I feel. Unable to tell Gale.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Don't own hunger games

I thought I should do one from Peeta's POV. Tell me what you think!

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><p>Peeta looks at his wife, sadly. She isn't happy, and he knows it. He does everything he can for her, and she still doesn't love him. He works late into the night so she won't have to hunt, so she's safe. It's the games, or at least that's what he hopes. He hopes it's the games haunting her, not her secret longing for another. He hopes she's mourning Prim, and still angry with Gale over his part in her death. He hopes she doesn't miss him.<p>

But he knows she does.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own hunger games, and I won't in the next chapter either.

Review!

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><p>It's 2am, and I'm hunting in the woods. It's late and dark, and I'm exhausted, but I've had no choice lately. I need this, I need to hunt, but Peeta doesn't understand. I know it's because he wants me safe, but hunting is a part of me, a part that needs to be recognized. I wouldn't and couldn't give it up for anything. So the time doesn't matter, as long as I'm here, in the forest, with the wind tugging at my braid, and the feel of the grass through my moccasins. The prey is different at night, but the forest is the same, calm and cool. I only wish I weren't alone.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry about the gap between updates... I started a lot of new stories, and had finals. Review :)

Disclaimer: I don't own hunger games

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><p>I run outside. I've just had another fight with Peeta. Over my hunting, because he found out about last night. He was furious. He yelled at me, and forbid me from ever entering the woods again, like he thought he owned me. So what if it was just for my protection? He had no right to order me around, and scream at me like that. I'd had enough.<p>

I run deeper into the forest, even though it's not safe. The woods are getting darker, and denser. And there are a lot of these weird shapes high up in the trees. But they aren't shapes. I know those shapes. Those are Tracker jacker nests. I try to run, but it's too late. They swarm me. To avoid them, I dive into the shade of a bush, but not before a few catch me. I try to yank them out. Two on my face alone, and at least five others on the rest of my body. I begin to feel the venom sinking in. Then someone comes running towards me, hopefully to help me, help me in this forest of claws and darkness, where there is blood on every tree. The person comes closer, and I recognize them. It's Prim, my Prim. But she's hurt, very hurt. She's oozing a green acidic liquid, she has a bloody gash over her face, her clothes are in tatters, blood running down her legs, and worst of all, her right arm, hanging by a thread. I have to help her, but I can't move, I'm trapped. Then Gale comes. He has a knife. He sees Prim, and he sees me.

"You chose Peeta." he says, calmly and slowly to me. Then he take his knife, and he slashes at Prim. She had no chance to dodge. Right into her head. He starts cutting out chunks of her, bits of her head, throwing them around, like they'd been blown out. She's still screaming, a scream that cuts me like he's cutting her, even though she must be dead by now. Her severed arm rolls towards me, that largest piece left of her. There is blood everywhere, screaming, the smell of rotting flesh, and Gales maniacal laughter, his eyes now pits of black fire. Then someone else comes. Peeta. He's giant, strong, and angry. He comes in and crushes Gale, just like that. Blood seeps out from under his foot. He grabs me in his hand, and yells at me, deafening me, and crushing me with his hand. I feel my bones breaking, and my eyes popping out. He ties me up, and puts me in a small glass case. He is watching from the outside. But I can't breath, and he knows it.

"It's for your own good, Katniss, you're safe now." And I'm running out of air, struggling to breath, and it feels like a hand is squeezing my lungs, and they burst, and the case I'm in is soaked with blood, and body parts, and the eyes of the capitol, the hunger games, laughing at my blood, my death. Then they too die, and the last thing I think before blackness is that the smell of decay has always been with me, it just took me until now to realize it.

"Mommy wake up!" I hear my daughter cry. She's squeezing my hand, hard. And so is Peeta, crushing it, almost.

"You were attacked by Tracker jackers." A healer explains, showing obvious signs of relief at my responsiveness. "Your daughter had followed you after you had left your house, and she herself was hurt along the way, to try and get her back to the house. There are scratches on her face that she got after her brother found her, but before that she had tripped and scrapped her knee, cut her arm, and fallen in some mud. They were both followed by your husband, and he took them and you to my house." This explained Prim and Gale. I'd thought my daughter was Prim, because of their many similarities, and my son did bear a huge resemblance to Gale. I had greatly exaggerated the injuries because of the venom. And the squeezing feeling was on my hands. But being put in the case was real. Peeta really was trapping me, strangling me, suffocating me. He knew it, but he didn't care.

"It will take you awhile to get better, those were quite a few stings you acquired. But you had the sense to yank them out, or you wouldn't be alive. You can go home within the week." But I don't want to go back to that cage, I don't want to suffocate, I want freedom.


	8. Chapter 8

Finally an update! Sorry about the wait :)

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><p>Even though I've just fallen asleep, I wake up. I don't know where I am. The sky is a pale violet, and the ground a field of soft, tall, bright green grass. It must be a dream, I think, and as I think this I can vaguely see myself sleeping next to Peeta.<br>"Don't try to watch the real world, or you'll wake up." says a soft, sweet voice. Prim is sitting cross legged in front of me, where before had been just grass. My Prim, sweet and delicate, and in one piece, not blown apart by the bomb Gale made.  
>"He didn't know what use it would be put to, he was just trying to help, same as you."<br>"But you're gone Prim...never coming back...who should I blame if not Gale? If I blame myself I think I'll die from living with that every day!"  
>"Blame Buttercup!" she says, laughing. "Blame anyone, it's all the same, because blaming anyone's easy if you know there's no one to blame. You have to be strong to not use blame. But don't blame Gale, you need him too much. I think you both should talk." And, right beside me, Gale starts to appear, fading in, his grey eyes coming into focus and gazing flames at me.<br>"Please forgive me Catnip, I've missed you," he whispers.  
>"It doesn't seem like it, you seemed perfectly happy with that girl you were with!"<br>"Well what about you and Peeta?"  
>"I asked first."<br>"She's no one, she's...delicate. A perfect capitol wife, she does nothing herself, just tries her best to look pretty for me." he makes a face, "She's a dime a dozen, you were one in a million." My heart flutters, even though I know it's just a dream.  
>"Peeta wants me to be that girl, the capitol wife. He won't let me hunt, or do anything besides childcare. He won't let me live my own life. He won't let me breath. I'm trapped."<br>"Neither of you are happy." Prim says, "And you could make each other's lives complete! Just look into each other's eyes and you will see it!" I shake my head. I can't. "Please?" begs Prim softly. She knows I could never say no to her. And as we raise our gazes upwards, Gale and I look into each other's eyes, and -"

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><p>Was it real? I think lying in bed. I doubt it, it was just a dream, not true, Gale didn't mean it. He didn't love me like I now realised I loved him.<p>

Gale POV

She wasn't really there, she's still in her own dream, her own bed, her own life. She still hates me for the death of her sister, and Peeta isn't restraining her, he's taking care of her, like I never could. Helping her through the death of her sister. Loving her. That much we have in common.

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><p>Reviewing would be ever so thoughtful :D<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games

This was going to be two chapters, but some people have reviewed saying the chapters are short and I should combine some, so tada!

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><p>Katniss POV<p>

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><p>As the storm picks up, my children cling to me, crying. But I want to cry too. The whole storm, it's so horrible, it seems like what they program into the games. I try not to cry along with them as part of a fence flies through our window. I look to Peeta for comfort, but he's curled up at the opposite end of the room, rocking.<p>

But I don't think he could have comforted me, it's not his comfort I really seek. Gale could always cheer me up, calm me down, and I need him now, to get me through this, to remind me that the games were over. Peeta just reminded me of what comes from them, the pain, the sorrow. I want Gale to hold me, not Peeta.

An idea, a crazy one, comes to me. I scribble something on a piece of scrap paper, gently move my children off of me, and grab my bow and arrows. I glance back at Peeta, and he sees me trying to leave. He yells at me to come back, but not in the way someone would to a loved one, more like how a prison guard would yell at an escaping prisoner. Or so it seemed to me. I walked out, and into the storm.

Debris is flying all around me, almost hitting me, or killing me, due to it's speed. A large chunk of my house flies by, missing me by centimeters. I can barely stand, the wind almost carries me away. I hold the house for support, as I tie my note to an arrow with a string from my shirt. I raise my arrow in the direction all of the silver rain is flying, and release with the wind. The arrow flies out of sight, a glint in the wind for only a second.

I know it won't reach him, but at least I've done something, instead of just sitting and waiting. And I need him to get the message, because I can't go on with Peeta. It's not working, and it can't be fixed. I hobble back inside, freezing and soaked, but feeling accomplished.

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><p>Gale POV<p>

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><p>I pull back the curtain a little to look outside. There's so much rain it's like the air is water, and it's being whipped around so fast by the wind each drop is like a silver arrow. I wince, thinking of Katniss and her arrows. The thunder is so loud it hurts, and my roof is practically being ripped off. My wife and I are huddled in a corner. She is crying on my shoulder, and this time I don't blame her. We'll be lucky if we live.<p>

I don't know how long it was before the roof caved in, and when it did we both screamed. At the same time, an arrow flew through the window, and stuck in my wall a foot about my head. I look up at it. Could it be...? But no, she is too far away. But the wind is strong there too...I notice a note tied to the arrow. I untie the course string holding it on, and make out through the rain splotches four quickly scrawled words.

_gale i need you_

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><p>Thank you to all the reviewers out there (from my last chapter and in advance)!<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry this chapter is so short, school started, and...yeah. I'd written a longer chapter, but I turned that into a new story altogether (The Avox Girl).

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games.

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><p>Once I'm sure that Peeta is asleep, I quietly roll out of bed. I slip into trousers and a shirt, and look at my husband for what I'm sure is the last time. While sleeping, he looks like the man he used to be, the man the girl I used to be had loved. I walk into each of my childrens' rooms, and brush the hair away from their eyes. Tears start to fall as I walk out of the room, leaving behind my daughter.<br>I'm heading to Gale. Gale is the man I love, the only one I'll ever love, and if he doesn't love me back...I won't think that, I can't. It's my only hope. But as I walk to the train, I feel something stirring inside of me. As I get closer and closer to the train that will whisk me away into the arms of Gale, the feeling gets stronger. And more painful. It's like I'm dragging myself away from myself. Like I'm stretching, like there's something holding me back.  
>Once I get to the train, I try to drown out that feeling. There is nothing for me here. But as I get on the train, I see a young woman get off. She's holding a baby, and looking at it with such adoration that I realize why I can't leave. Why I'll never be able to leave. What's holding me back is not Peeta, not fear, but my children. My beautiful children. I'll never leave them. I can't. I love them more than anything. Even more than Gale. Just enough to make me give up my chance for happiness and return to the prison that is Peeta.<p>

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><p>Review please!<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry for the wait!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games

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><p>Katniss is different. She always has been different, but more so lately. Worse different. She was okay for awhile, after the games. She's never been like the rest of us, but she could have faked it before. Not now, she's done too many things that we can't look past. None of us would ever leave the house over a fight, in the middle of the night. None of us would ever hunt in the woods. None of us would ever cry in public. None of us would do what she did, take her children and leave her husband sobbing on the ground. She's wicked, she's dirt. She may have won the games, but she'll never win herself back. She could be dead to me, and really all of district 12. She'll always be chasing after the hunter. She'll never be one of us.<p>

They used to want me, because I was their champion. Now they watch me with scorn and distaste. I'm no longer accepted anywhere. No one understood what I did. No one understood that Peeta was wrong for me. Wrong wrong wrong. We didn't fit. He crushed me. I broke. I have the kids. I have nothing else. And they don't trust me. They don't know why I left him.  
>We live by the trains now. It makes me feel closer to Gale, knowing that I'm just a few steps away from my train to him. But every time a train comes by to district 2, I watch it. I watch people get off, then I watch people get on. And when the doors close, I feel part of me close with them, and I curl up on the ground and cry.<p>

I hear stories about her. About her changing. About her going mad. About her being desperate. About her watching the trains, and crying when the doors close. About her leaving her husband in the dirt. About her children leaving her, and returning to their father. But I don't believe these people. I can't. I can't believe that Katniss, my Katniss, has lost herself. And I don't believe it. Not until a woman in rags shows up at my doorstep.

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><p>Review!<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry for the long wait, here's a long one.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games.

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><p>I look at her. I can't stop looking at her. It can't be her. She was strong. Determined. Beautiful. But now...she's broken. I can't even tell if it's her. She's wild. Her eyes hold only terror. She's so covered in filth and grime, it's hard to see her. She blends in with the ground. And she's thin, so very thin. I've only seen her this thin in the games. But, more important than all of this, she's here. Katniss is here. I scoop her up and carry her in. Luckily I'm alone in my house today.<br>She's barely coherent. I'm not sure what to do. I guess wash her, she really is dirty.  
>Trying to mind her privacy, I strip her down, and fill a tub for her, heating it before placing her in. I scrub the dirt off her, out of her hair, and then I see her. She's there, under all of this pain. She's there.<br>I take her out of the now dirty water, and pull one of my shirts over her head. I lye her down on my bed, and her eyelashes flutter, and Katniss fully opens her eyes.  
>She's scared. I've never seen her so scared.<p>

"It's okay, Catnip, It'll be okay." I don't know why she's scared, she's out of harms way. Unless...she's scared of me. But why?  
>"I don't wanna go back." she whimpers, like a little girl. So she's scared I'll reject her, send her back to Peeta. Peeta! I'd trusted that she'd be safe with him. I hadn't been happy with her there, but I thought she was safe. If I'd known she was hurting, I would have saved her from him. If it's his fault she's like this...<br>"You won't go back Katniss, I won't let you. You're safe here." I lean in and kiss her, what I've been wanting to do for so long. Her eyes widen in shock, but then she kisses back, harder and harder, biting and clawing, then she freezes, and collapses onto the bed.  
>"Katniss?" I try to wake her. She won't wake up. I check for breathing, and it's there. But she won't wake up. I don't know what's wrong. She could have fainted, she could be in a coma, she could be dying! I leave her there and run for a doctor.<p>

I didn't know where to go. The children left me. I was alone. I had no other choice! Every time I watched a train leave, part of me died. I couldn't take it. I had to get on one of those trains. And I did. And he found me. And he took me in. But I'm scared. Because how do I know what's going to happen now? He won't want me. He'll throw me out. I'll be on the streets, in a district so far from home. And what will happen to my children? And what will happen to me? Will Gale become another cage? I don't want to suffocate again. I can't. I want to be free! It's all I've wanted, for some time. Free from Peeta, free from the trains. Free from my love of Gale. But what I say is, "I don't wanna go back." And I don't. But I don't know where I _do_ want to go!  
>"You won't go back Katniss, I won't let you. You're safe here." He won't let me leave, it is a trap. I'll be trapped here, safe, but trapped.<br>And then he kisses me. And for a moment, that's all that matters. I love him, he loves me. But it's a trap! He'll hurt me like Peeta did! Like the capitol did. I'll become a caged animal again. I'm wild now, all my anger and fear and love coming out at once, and onto him. I'm causing him pain, but he doesn't care. I'm hurting, he's hurting, and all the feelings are rushing in and out of my head, and there're too many...and then there's just one thought. Blackness is my thought as the world spins and flies away from me.

But just for a moment, then it comes flying back. And it's the dream I had because of the Tracker Jackers, but Peeta and Prim aren't there. It's just Gale. Gale is my cage. He squeezes me, suffocates me, I'm trapped. He doesn't hunt with me, he hides me. He keeps me from the light. But that can't be Gale. I love him. Or do I? I don't understand it. The kiss felt right. I felt at home. But is it a trap? I don't understand it, and I can't try to. It hurts. So I do the only thing I can think of. I wake up, get up, and run.

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><p>Reviews would be loved :D<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

I'm so so so sorry! I fractured my wrist though, so typing is taking forever. Sorry!

Disclaimer: I don't own H.G.

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><p>Clawing scratching biting me, laughingatme mocking me. They see my pain and they laugh. Prim grins at me, watches me scream and cry and twist, and she grins as her face decays. The light flashes.<p>

My mother begs me to take Prim's place, she doesn't want her angel hurt. Prim is small and weak, so life is handed to her. I'm a monster, and my mother wants me killed in the games. It's her plan. The light flashes, and the trees surround me.

Gale doesn't want me back either, he hopes I'm killed, he hates me, and tries to kill me with his words. Words that make you feel safe. The lies. He wouldn't want a monster, a monster of the woods. The light flashes, the trees surround me, and the animals shriek.

Peeta hate me worst of all, he joins in with the crowd. Turns children against me, leads the mob, pitchfork in hand, to kill the monster. He drives me into the darkest part of the woods, and I cower in the shadows, waiting for the fire of his torches to consume me. The light flashes, the trees surround me, the animals shriek, and a twisted person emerges.

Then out of the dark, the words pull me. The beautiful words, the lies. I'm pulled to them and they encompass me, wrapping me up, warming me, holding me, getting tighter, not letting go, strangling. The words drag me towards the twisted person, and then I rot, from the inside out, losing myself. And when he's done, he'll keep the ashes, holding me close forever. The lights flash, the trees surround me, the animals shriek, the twisted person emerges, and then...

Warmth. Not the warmth of lies, but real warmth. I hear words, the words hold me, but they're not lies, they're right. I'm not in a twisted forest. I'm in a sunlit clearing, in the arms of a man I desperately need, who I'm too scared to hold. But I know I'm home. I curl up in his arms, and cry as he sooths me, brushing my tangled hair away from my scratched face, and putting his jacket over me.

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>Next chapter's Gale's POV, please review!<p><p>


	14. Chapter 14

Shorter than I intended, but I'll try to update soon (no promises). Oh and in case you need a reminder, this is Gale's POV on the last chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games

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><p>When I get back with a doctor, she's gone. I panic, she could be hurt, someone could have taken her away, taken her away from me, just when I'd found her. Why did I leave her? I should have sent someone else to get the doctor, taken her with me, something!<p>

But it's too late for that, she's gone, and I have to find her. And if she left by her free will, which I pray she has, she's in the woods.

I run there, praying with every step that she's okay. She has to be. She will be.

I dodge the branches and roots, weaving between the towering trees, deeper into the woods, deeper, closer to her. I know she's in there, I can feel it. And then she confirms this with a scream. I run faster, I have to reach her, she keeps screaming, crying, and I'm running closer, it's getting louder, louder, then I see her.

She's hurt, bleeding, shaking. She's scared, you can see it in her eyes, but she's also not here. She doesn't see me, or the trees, or any of it. She claws at the air, kicks and jerks, branches scratching her face, and ripping the shirt I'd put her in.

I walk to her, slowly, so I don't scare her. When she sees me, she screams louder, backing away from me. I run forward, wrapping her in my arms, where she collapses, sobbing. She clings on to me, and I hold her as she shakes, and I know now that she's going to be okay, she's going to move on.

She's not afraid of her fears anymore. She has them, but she's not afraid of them. She's not afraid of the hurt in her past, or the people in her future.

She's not afraid to love me.

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><p>Reviews will speed up my updating :)<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

Not edited, sorry, but otherwise I wouldn't get it up until tomorrow :)  
>Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games.<p>

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><p>Sunlight hits the dirt, first flowing off the green leaves, then spilling onto the ground, making where I'm standing a pool of gold. My mother told Prim and I that within the golden light is a rainbow, and that leaves are green because that's the part of the golden rays they don't want. All we see are the leftovers.<p>

It makes it all seem dull, knowing what's visible is useless, and as I watch the colors around me seem to fade, the green growing darker, until the leaves are grey, and the light disappears, no longer lighting up the woods. My steps grow louder, and I wonder how I'll catch anything, with the thundering noises I'm making.

Around and around I'm wandering, praying I'll find something, to show I'm still here, but I see nothing, and the time is dragging on, the distance seeming endless. It must have been days, miles, and I can barely see, the world is so dark. But it's hot, so hot, I can feel the sun, I just can't see it. But then I see something. A shadow. Without thinking, desperately, I shoot at the dark spot I heard move, and I hear a yelp, but not that of an animal. I stumble over, crashing on my way, and almost falling, only to be wrapped up in strong, warm arms.

"Almost hit me there, Catnip."

"Gale, I'm sorry, I just wanted to bring something back for you, and I thought I could do it, but it all went dark, and I thought you were a rabbit."

"Not a bear or a wolf, a rabbit?" I laugh at that, the first time I've laughed in years, and it comes out hoarse and shaky, but it feels good.

"You do have big ears..." He squeezes me, and I laugh again, it comes out easier now. "I'm sorry, I won't go out again, I can't do it."

"Katniss, you can do it, but you're not ready yet. But someday you'll be able to hunt again. I won't let you stay this way, you're going to be okay." And he turns me to face him, and I can make out a grin on his blurred face, and it's like a light switch went on, because the color comes back, and the gold light streams off the green leaves and onto his face.

"I'm going to be okay."

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><p>Review!<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

I'm so, so sorry! I finished another of my stories though, so updates should be a little faster.  
>Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games.<p>

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><p>The morning's are my favorite time. I love to watch her sleep, with the blankets pulled protectively around her. She curls up against me, and her hair tickles my chin. I feel her skin against mine, and I hold her close. In her sleep, she looks peaceful. When she opens her eyes I can still see the fear, although it's less evident now.<p>

In the morning I love watching her outside. She sits with her legs curled under her in the grass, smiling softly as she gently twists herbs from the plants, bringing them back in for me. She comes back with dirt on her feet and grass stains on her knees, and that's why I love her.

Sometimes later in the day we go hunting. Never very deep in the woods, the house is always in sight. Her aim is not as amazing as it used to be, but she can still pick off a moving squirrel from a tree a hundred feet away.

At night we sit by the fire and read, or play a game, or just sit and watch the flame. I still see the girl who was on fire when I see the flame reflected in her eyes, and the light playing of the contours of her face.

As each day goes by, I love her more and more. She grows stronger, more confident. I start feeling hopeful, like it will all finally work out.  
>Then I wake up to the sound of my wife's shouts.<p>

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><p>So, to be clear, everything DID happen, his wife just came home and found him with Katniss. It wasn't all a dream, don't worry :)<p> 


	17. Chapter 17

Fastest update yet!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games.

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><p>"I'm sorry," I tell her, "But it's over, it's not right. We aren't right. I love someone else." And I close the door to her, who stands outside crying, holding her belongings, waiting for me to let her back in. And I feel so much guilt, but I know it was the right thing to do.<p>

_"How can you do this, Gale! The second I turn my back you climb in bed with your old dirty friends? Replacing me with some champion, are you? I thought you loved me!" I groan, remembering she was coming back today. Katniss pulls the covers around herself tightly, clearly wary of my wife. I guess I knew this would happen, but I'd hoped we'd at least be dressed for it._

_"Can we go outside to talk?" I beg her, not wanting to scare Katniss. She still glares at me, but being her submissive self, nods. I don't know what to do, I don't love this woman. I love Katniss, and I need Katniss. It was wrong of me to marry this woman, but I did marry her. But now, I have to end it._

I open the door to my bedroom, and peer inside. Katniss is watching me, fully dressed and waiting. She looks over the tear stains on my face in fear.

"Katniss, I ended it. You show me what love is, and I don't have it with her. I love you, and you're not leaving me again." She smiles weakly.

"I don't plan on it," she says in a voice rough from disuse, and then she walks over to me and puts her head on my shoulder, and I know I've done the right thing.

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><p>Did I trick anyone? To be clear, Gale dumps his wife somewhat rudely, not Katniss. Reviews are loved :)<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

Re-read the whole series, so I think I've got the characters down better now (hopefully).

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games

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><p>I know I should be happy. And I am, mostly at least. I can hunt again, run again, feel free again. I'm with Gale, who loves me like I love him. But it's not enough, it can't erase the past.<p>

I start to draw away from him, even when I see the hurt in his eyes. But he doesn't understand. He didn't love Prim like I loved her. He didn't bury Rue in flowers. He didn't kill so many of his friends.

Gale doesn't understand the guilt that's dragging me down. The guilt that I get to be happy with the person I love, and they don't. I didn't feel the guilt as much with Peeta, because I wasn't happy. It was almost satisfying, knowing they were probably better off.

But whenever I look at Gale, all I see is Prim, Rue, Finnick, Cinna, Madge, and all I ever held dear.

Even though I know I don't deserve them, I long for my children. They chose Peeta over me, and each second is another painful reminder of the time away from them. I wander around the woods, remembering. Until I wander into Gale.

"Katniss." I hear him say, almost sadly, "What did I do wrong?" I try to turn from him, but he grabs me.

"Nothing." I say mutely.

"Then why are you leaving me? You said you wouldn't!" He looks angry, and I shrink away.

"I don't deserve this. Any of it. They do." He looks confused, but then seems to understand.

"They would have wanted you happy, they wouldn't have wanted you to waste your life moping!" He wraps his arm around me. "Prim especially."

"My children..."

"One day they'll understand, they'll come back." He hesitates, then asks, "What about Peeta?"

"What about him?"

"Do you miss him?" He looks almost nervous, which makes me grin.

"I know how I feel now, and it's only you, Gale."

"Will you come back?" He means to him, instead of hiding.

"I wish I'd never left."

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><p>Reviews are loved :)<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

Sorry it's been awhile! Here's a long one to make up for it!

Disclaimer: Same as usual

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><p>After we make up, we're as inseparable as we used to be before the games destroyed our lives. We spend our days hunting in the woods, that, although aren't the same ones as in the old time, hold exciting new prey to hunt. We laugh, talk, and walk in silence. Sometimes we cry too. That's how it's different from the old days.<p>

But that's the extent of the differences. We never kiss, or do anything outside of what close friends would do. It's as if he's forgotten. The only time we're close is at night, and that's mainly because it's the only bed in the house.

I know I have feelings for Gale now, and I'm not avoiding him, I'm just avoiding how I feel. After all, didn't I love Peeta once? And his love for me turned into a cage. He was soft, and gentle, so I could escape. But Gale is all fire, and if he trapped me I'd stay trapped. It's better to keep my emotional distance.

But I can't. I want him more than I ever wanted Peeta. He excites me more, he draws out more of me. I can't stay inside, it all rushes out to help him. But I hold it in, I can't love him, I won't let myself.

But then he ruins it, he, stupidly, steps in one of his old traps, and before I know it is bleeding, probably drawing all dangerous animals within a mile to us. I curse and stoop to tie his foot. But when I see the damage, I can't hold it in, and I start crying.

It reminds me of when he was whipped, and I was too late. I also remember how he says I love him more when he's hurt. But that's not true, it just shows more then.

I try to keep the tears at bay while I wrap his foot, but when I finish I look at his contorted face and the tears start flowing again. His eyes are shut tightly so he doesn't notice, and I help him to his feet.

We manage to make it back to the house, but barely, before he collapses. I rush to the medicine cabinet, and pull out some pain medicine. After giving it to him, his breathing slows quickly, and he's able to open his eyes to see the tear-tracks down my face.

"Katniss, don't worry, it's only a trap, and it was my own stupid fault!"

"I love you." It just slipped out, I couldn't help it, but I go on. "I know I haven't acted like it, but I was just scared, and I really do love you!" He bites his lip, and stays silent, before saying slowly.

"These past few months...I enjoyed being with you as a friend...and I've realized maybe I just enjoy being with you as a friend, and nothing more...and all I was feeling was me missing our friendship. You're an amazing friend, and I don't want to hurt you. I just think we should...see other people? Just as a break? I really am sorry, I just need to sort out my head! I've loved the time we spent together, and I think it should stay just how it is." It's all I can do to choke out,

"Okay."

"Well, except that I think we sleep separately. You keep the bed, I'll take the couch." Again I nod to say okay. But it's not okay.

Just as I reach for the fiery bars of the cage, it disappears altogether.

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><p>Sorry, I just had to do that, things were getting to comfortable :) Review for a faster return to a couple!<p> 


	20. Chapter 20

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Same as usual.

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><p><strong>Gale's POV<strong>

Even though she says okay, I can see her heart has shattered by the look on her face, and the guilt ensnares me. I'm being so selfish, she's been hurt so badly, I should be more caring.

But I can't take it anymore, loving her so much. I know I'll never stop loving her, and I want her more than anything, but it's hurting me too much. She doesn't love me, she just thinks she does.

Katniss sees me hurt and thinks what she feels is love, but it's just guilt. It's always just guilt. And since I found her on my doorstep, she's quickly alternated from love to hate so fast it makes my head spin.

I can't handle the pain of her making me hope then pulling it away. And she isn't ready to love again, not after what Peeta did to her.

I love her, but I had to let her go, even though I can see that it's killing her by the look on her face.

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><p>Sorry it's so short, but I just had to explain the last chapter :) Review!<p> 


	21. Chapter 21

Sorry it's short, I haven't been very inspired lately...but I have ideas for the next chapter, don't worry!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games

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><p>Katniss' POV<p>

I remember how our routine used to drag on, with me always longing for something different. But now I'd give anything for our old life, the one where I woke up curled against him. The one where we hunted together, and sat by the fire at night.

Or, even better, I dream of the days before the games, when I was still whole, and there was an ease between Gale and I that we'll never get back. When our lives were simple and full, the purpose being to keep our families alive.

Gale's the one avoiding me, now, and the guilt tears me apart knowing I did this to him, because the pain is unbearable.

He claimed I only loved him when he hurt, but he was a hypocrite. He only loves me when I'm distant, and when I remember how much I care, he stops loving me. He leaves me broken like Peeta did.

But I won't let him hurt me like Peeta did. I won't lose everything again to a man. I'm stronger than that, I don't need anyone else to hold me together. I won the hunger games while dragging along a half dead man, I started a rebellion, I became a person I'm not to overthrow the capitol. I don't need to chase after a man, no matter how much I love him.

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><p>Review :)<p> 


	22. Chapter 22

Okay, so you know how I said I have ideas? I sorta forgot them...I'll figure something out though (starts typing randomly)

Disclaimer: If I owned Hunger Games, no one could say my characters were OOC so...nope

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><p>Gale's POV<p>

I thought I knew what I was doing. That's a lie, I didn't think. Or I thought, but not in the right way. I thought about me and only me. I didn't think how I'd hurt her. That's a lie, I wanted to hurt her. Hurt her like she hurt me.

But I didn't. Clearly I didn't. Because she's gone. Without a chance for love, she leaves. She never loved me. I thought keeping a distance would make her realize her feelings, and it did, but the wrong feelings.

I bet she's back with Peeta now, wrapped in his arms with her family around her. Happy with the person she loves. And he'll make her happy. As long as she's happy...it's all I could ever ask for, should have ever asked for.

And maybe it's time I move on too. After all, was it ever really love? Or just jealousy over her bond with another boy. I thought of her as something solid, always there, mine. I thought I needed her. But maybe it was never her I needed. Maybe I just needed someone to be mine.

In the weeks after she leaves, I try to find someone else. But none of them are right. And it has nothing to do with them, it's me who's not right. Because all I'm looking for is Katniss, and she's nowhere to be found.

Until the day when she walks onto the stage in full armor in front of the entire district to declare the return of the mockingjay to battle.

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><p>Wow, that ending surprised me too...:) Don't worry, all will be well! Maybe it's time for another dream? Updates should be faster now that I've got a better grip on the plot :) Review!<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

Sorry, I know I said faster updates...whoops...  
>Enjoy!<p>

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><p>I start out sitting on the floor, vaguely aware that I'm in my house. The fire is bathing me in warm light. Right beside it is Katniss. The flames are crawling out of the hearth, licking her arms, but she doesn't seem to notice. She just continues to smile at me, the light dancing in her eyes. I feel relief, that it's over, that everything is better again.<p>

Then suddenly the door is blown open and the fire is extinguished. Her eyes have gone cold, and soundlessly Katniss gets up, walking away. I try to run after her, but it's like the air has turned solid, and no matter how hard I fight I can't move. Once she's through the door, I can move again, and I rush out after her.

My first step out of the house is into a puddle of blood, next to the body of Prim. All around me are the bodies of past tributes, friends, enemies, they're all at my feet, still.

In the distance I see her, a small bird flying high against the world. I see Them too. Cato, Peeta, Snow, all who've been against her. I see them all raise their knives. I want to run to her, to save her, but fear has rooted me to my spot. I see them all attack, I see her fall, a bird with broken wings.

I shoot up in bed, gasping, and I wipe the tears out of my eyes. I quickly pull on clothing and head to the center of town.

All the way I ponder the recent rebellions against our new president and her harsh rule towards the capitol. The secret army of said people and districts 1,2, and 4, growing to take down the government and reestablish the old system. I think of the bloodthirsty faces I've seen on posters. I think of the new weapons they have.

But it's Katniss and her wings I'm thinking of when I sign up to join the battle.

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><p>Feels good to be back! Review?<p> 


	24. Chapter 24

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games

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><p>The days have become a blur now that I'm the mockingjay again. Riding the sterile harsh trains in silence, waiting to get out into the air. Being washed and dressed like the doll I've become. Delivering the memorized message to the crowd of blank faces. Repeated again and again.<p>

I am not the mockingjay. The mockingjay has lost her freedom, and is now a caged puppet. I'm just working the strings. I shouldn't be here, I should be helping. And not from a distance, in the front lines.

I don't want to go back to battle, to kill in cold blood. To watch my friends be torn to pieces by mutts and blown apart by weapons beyond my imagination. With each day the size of our fighting force is growing, partly because of me, and I can't let any more innocent people die. I can't have any more blood on my hands.

I have to fight, it's not longer a choice. I'm trapped once again, but maybe birds are meant to be caged. Taught to sing and speak and look for things that glitter in the light. This time I'm the puppet of fate, not the mockingjay. I'll leave her strings behind for another to wield.

When I leave, it's not all this I'm thinking of, but of Gale. The only thought that kept me going is the thought that I'm keeping him safe. Even if he doesn't love me, I can still protect him. I can protect the people I dragged to war with a fist of berries.

I know I'll never be allowed to leave my job as puppet master, so instead I escape. I cut my hair short and bleach it like a capitol woman, and instead of my mockingjay bow I take one of my old ones from my father. And then, with a new identity, I return to battle.

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><p>Now they're both fighting again! Wonder if they'll meet ;) Thank you to the people who keep reviewing!<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

Woohoo 25 chapters! I'm not sure how many are left...still got some things to resolve, so probably 7? But that's just a guess...enjoy! :)  
>Oh, and also, this chapter is a little abstract, so be warned!<p>

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><p><strong>Katniss' POV<strong>

Blood swirls around their bodies like mist, enveloping them in its warm-going-cold grip. The sounds of explosions and screams fade into a muffling haze that weighs down on me, forcing me to the ground.

My body becomes lead, and I feel her around me. Her silky hand forces mine, red from being stripped of its feathers, into the dark pool.

They grab me, and drag deeper into the thick smooth liquid that cuts at my skin, deeper until I can't breath, and I'm surrounded by darkness and their screaming dead bloody faces.

Cinna, making fiery costumes of hero birds to hide a small girl inside.

Prim, her golden hair tinged from the red, singing softly, her face void of the emotions she held during her life.

Finick, no longer so beautiful, reaching out for someone not quite as gone as he is.

Peeta, with blood made of longing, killed by the one who left him for another.

Haymitch, with blood poisoned from alcohol, running from truth and into this darkness, never did his little bird sing right for him.

Then, someone who doesn't go with the rest. Someone not yet drowning in red blackness. A thin sliver of light from him cuts through the dark, and he reaches me and pulls of out of the dark pool. It's Gale.

I try to talk, to tell him to go back for the others, but instead I cough up blood. He doesn't look at me, and I wish he would. He just picks me up, and carries me away from the screaming, and into a place that's soft and quiet. I blink and then he's gone, and so are the rest.

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><p>Next chapter from Gale's POV, so things will be explained a little :) Review?<p> 


	26. Chapter 26

Sorry for the wait!

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><p><strong>Gale's POV<strong>

The world is made of sharp screams and breaking bullets. Red blood and blue skin. Mutts and faceless swarms of people. My reasons for fighting fade away, and it becomes automatic. It has to, or I'd be taken down. Not by weapons, but by the pain. The pain I see on the children's faces as they are cut to bits by unimaginable weapons. The pain of those who watch.

I don't think of her, she's just become a distraction. I signed up to find her, but all the will I have has left me. The world is a blur, yet it's in perfect focus. Black and white, because the colors don't matter. I shoot and hit every time, with no satisfaction. I don't even know why I'm fighting.

I dodge a line of bullets, but others aren't so lucky. Red washes over my left side, but it fades because it's too late anyway. But then I hear it. A scream, like the others, but for some reason not muffled by my brain, and instead made sharp and intense, but I can't quite remember why. I'm caught off guard, and something in me drags me towards it. Towards her.

It's like waking up, and suddenly everything is different. Not as clear, yet more so. Chaos everywhere, too much to understand, and no way to sense the danger over the screams and fighting and red warm blood and pain. It's everywhere at once, and so much more vivid than a few seconds ago, but so much harder to understand. All I know is that I have to find the girl who is screaming.

The sound slowly dies, but not before I find her, facedown in a pool of blood. I don't know how, but I know it's her, and that I have to save her. She's thrashing wildly, with something in her hand. I pull her out of the hot red pool, and realize her hand is clasped around a dead hand. The blood is not hers, it's the blood of someone who it's too late to save.

I pull her, thrashing, away from the fighting. Everything fades away except her, and it's a miracle we make it to the medical tents at all. People rush towards us to take her, but before they can I wipe my finger over her eyes to clear away the blood.

Grey eyes fly open, and I feel a shock run through my body. Grey eyes that defy the black and white world I've come to live in, eyes that blend the lines and make me forget about the hot red and cruel pain. I know her. But then they take her, and send me out of the tent, and the grey of her eyes is forgotten in the sea of red.

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><p>Hmm a little more cryptic than I intended... well to clarify the last two chapters, Gale finds Katniss but doesn't fully realize it's her, and then leaves before she wakes up.<p> 


	27. Chapter 27

Here's a nice long one :)

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><p>Katniss' POV<p>

I've been different since I've woken up. The hallucinations have stopped thanks to some of the medicine administered to me, and I can think clearly again. I remember why I came to fight; to stop the death of the innocent. I know I can't do that alone, but I know I'm helping more fighting than I am in a costume and makeup.

But I don't even know if I believe in the war anymore. I thought all the violence would stop once Snow was dead, but it continues, and shows no signs of stopping. And I think I knew that signing on. The real reason I started fighting again was Gale.

No matter how much I lie, I can't deny this anymore. I thought it was me being strong, but really I was just running away. If I were stronger I would have stayed and fought for him. But then he saved me from the hallucinations, and I honestly don't even mind being in his debt again. I've found him, and I'm not letting him get away again.

Every day I fight, but this time I don't let myself slip. I look for him, but he never shows up. Instead, I find other people of interest. Finnick and Annie's son, an extremely handsome 20 year old man with his father's fighting skills and his mother's fears. Cecelia's niece Bristel, who reminds me of Johanna because of her harsh exterior. Posy's husband, who makes me smile by telling me stories of his family.

We're a sad, mismatched group, but we give each other hope, and maybe that's all you need, because we survive the fighting.

When we're together in the tent at night, taking turns on watch, we share stories. Stories of our childhoods, our children, our families. Of our lives, and histories.

I learn of Annie's constant hysterics and how her son took care of her starting at a young age. He rarely talks, and his eyes constantly dart, but he loves his family more than anything.

I learn of how Cecelia's desperate children were taken in by her sister who barely managed to scrape by as it was. Bristel quickly faded into the background.

I remember Posy, who grew up without her family there, and has only faint recollections of the Games and District 13. Her life was built in a blissful ignorance.

I tell them about my children, but I never talk about Peeta or Gale. Bristel notices, apparently.

"So these are the children of you and your star-crossed lover, right? How's he doing?" I try to avoid the topic.

"He's well, to my knowledge."

"I can't believe he let you come back and fight."

"He doesn't control me." This wouldn't have been true a few years ago.

"Then he would have come with you." I stay silent, revealing all, and Bristel smirks.

"So who left who?" I answer her, not willing to show weakness.

"I left him."

"And your children?"

"They made their choice."

"Who's the new guy?" I pause, but decide that telling them probably won't matter anyways.

"Gale."

"Gale? Is that why he's out here too?" Posy's husband asks? My heart skips a beat, and I fire questions at him.

"Have you seen him? Is he nearby? Is he safe? Has he asked about me?"

"I only saw him, we didn't speak. He visits the tent three down from ours sometimes. Doesn't he know that you're here?" I shake my head.

"I made a mistake. I have to find him." Bristel glares at me.

"Or maybe you should just spare him now, and stop dangling him by a thread of hope that you won't crush him like you crushed the only person who would do anything for you."

"He hurt me. But I won't let that stop me."

"What if, when Gale pushed you away, he actually wanted you to stay gone? I bet you're just deluding yourself, and he really just sees you as a desperate girl from the bad times."

What if she's right? What if he sees me as his younger sister, and has wanted me away since I broke Peeta's heart? But I'm thinking too much now, I know this isn't true. I know he must love me.

"Well, I'm just going to have to find out." And I hurry out of the tent in search of Gale.

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><p>I'll read and review one of your stories if you review mine :) (and I'm not trying to beg for reviews, I like reading new stories!)<p> 


	28. Chapter 28

I'm super sorry for the long wait, I've honestly never been busier now that school has started, and the remaining updates will be far between, unfortunately.

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><p>Gale's POV<p>

And so the days string themselves together before me, weaving into weeks and maybe months, time only measured by dark and light, and emotion replaced with having or lacking physical pain. The world around me is fuzzy and grey, and I only see straight ahead. I hear the guns and dodge just in time to watch my friends be blown up. I don't even care anymore.

"Gale?" I narrow my eyes, squinting at the figure in front of me. They're female, with medium color skin and eyes, and dark hair. She's average height, with a voice that can't really sound so different from the voices of any other fellow soldier. But something about hearing my name in her voice, something about her eyes, makes me try to remember her.

"Are you angry? Gale, I'm sorry I pulled away, I didn't understand how I felt until I lost you, but I know I won't make the same mistakes if we try again. I hate this fighting; I'm forgetting who I am, I'm slipping through the cracks. I need to get out, and I wanted to see if you'd leave with me. I know you probably have someone else, but I just needed to see your face. And to wish for you to have the odds 'ever in your favor,' I guess." She ends this with a remorseful sort of grin.

I know who she is, I know I do. It's right here, but I can't remember. But it's almost out, I can see the lights changing around her. I can see a shine in her eyes, the sleek darkness of her hair, the cool tone of her skin.

"Gale, you're more than what this war has made you. You're more than just a soldier. You're a leader. A strategist. But I guess we both wanted to step out of the spotlight." The bitterness in her voice, the edge to her words. Beautiful, but dangerous. Burning away. A flame. A fire. Katniss, the girl on fire.

I remember her now, I remember it all, and the color floods back into the world as I hear her scream and my chest explodes in a burst of pain and gushing hot blood. She sobs as the world that had seemed so beautiful in that second turns black.

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><p>Sorry if it's a little rushed... only had a half hour to write it! Feedback is loved :)<p> 


	29. Chapter 29

Okay, so judging by the review levels, people are losing interest in this story :( So, this chapter will be the last. With one more as an epilogue, I think.

Also, to clarify the last chapter: Gale got shot right after they made up.

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><p>Katniss' POV<p>

I'd always known the world wasn't fair. It wasn't fair for me to lose my father, to have to fight to keep my family from starving at the age of 11. For Prim to be chosen out of thousands of slips, and me having to volunteer. Watching Rue die. Watching Prim die. My whole world being turned upside-down, me having no control over my life. Everyone close to me being taken away, Peeta being driven mad, Gale leaving.

But for some reason, I'm still surprised when my heart is ripped out just when I'm the happiest I've been in awhile. Just when I thought it would be alright. Of course it isn't, because not only is life not fair, the odds are never in my favor.

The medics came as fast as they could, but it was too late. He's not going to make it. The bullet was removed, but it was poisoned. There's nothing they can do to stop him from leaving me within the day.

I wait outside while they remove it, and until he has been sufficiently rested for visiting. They have to restrain me, because I know I have so little time left with him. When they finally let me in I'm trying to hold back tears. I'm about to see him for the last time.  
>He's sitting up in the bed, and looks so fragile. But when I come in, he grins.<p>

"Of all times to get shot, am I right?" I can see he's forcing it, but I attempt to smile for his sake. It comes out forced, and I feel** the tears **threatening to leak from my eyes.

"Katniss, please don't cry, it'll be okay. You'll be okay." I try to nod, but instead the tears start to stream down my face. "Please, it's okay. We get to be together now, and in the end that's what matters."

"No, what matters is the tomorrow you won't be in."

"What matters is that, despite all of the struggles along the way, we're finally where we should be. Even if it's just for a few hours. Let's at least be together for that. But, please, promise me that when I'm gone, you'll move on. You're still the girl on fire, even without me. You have to go on with your life. Just know that I'll always love you." I nod, smiling through my tears, knowing he loves me.

So, with our last few hours together on Earth, things are like they used to be, but with us in love. We laugh, kiss, talk, and hold each other. We share everything we can in the short time we have. And it's not enough. But it's all we have. And, maybe some day, the odds will be in my favor, because Gale will be with me every step of the way.

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><p>Reviews are loved :)<p> 


	30. Chapter 30

So here it is, the last chapter! I might go back at some point to fix all the previous chapters, so stay posted!

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><p>Sometimes I can't help but remember, even though I try so hard not to. Remember the black coating on the Hob, and the dirt under our nails. Remember the cold nights where we huddled close for warmth. Remember the days where we didn't eat, but we didn't mind because we were together.<p>

I can't help but remember the day where everyone was screaming and the ground shook, and my father never came back. The days when the family fell apart, and I had to watch Prim starve.

I always find myself remembering the days when I was with him, in the woods. Where we laughed, smiled, lived together. I remember his smile, his eyes, his words, his fire.

I hate to remember the day they called her. The day I was brave. The day I found the boy with the bread. The day I left my family for what I thought would be forever.

I constantly remember the death, the violence, the pain. I remember Rue. I remember her flying through the trees, her soft gentle voice. I remember Rue dying.

Remembering Peeta is hard. I remember his kindness, his love, his protection. I remember the laughs, the secrets, the fear. I remember feeling trapped, alone, misunderstood.

I remember the good times, with Gale, where the fear was slowly fading. I remember his warmth, his strength, and how right it felt. These are my favorite times to remember. When they told me he wouldn't make it, it's these times I dwelled on.

But in our last moments I didn't think at all. I enjoyed every last moment we had together, so I'd have this last memory to keep me warm when times were bad.

And it's that moment I'm thinking of when I feel someone's arms wrap around me. I smile softly and look up into my husband's eyes.

"What were you thinking about?" Gale asks.

"Memories." He slides onto the couch next to me and pulls me closer.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shake my head.

"It's nothing new. Some of it was actually good. I was thinking of that time you almost died." Gale laughs, a sound that makes me feel fuzzy and warm inside.

"That's a good time?"

"Well, now that I know how it works out, yes. I love feeling so close to you."

"Well, everything looks better when you know that against all odds the man you love survives."

"I do love you. I'm sorry I'm not always... present. I can't help it."

"I don't expect you to forget. It's good that you remember. I'm just glad we can remember it all together."

And we never forget. Every day I remember what we went through. Every day I remember Prim, Rue, Finnick, Peeta, and hundreds of others who suffered or died. Every day I remember those who helped me survive at their own risk. And I will never forget them. But with Gale, I don't have to suffer over them. Remembering can be good. I remember the love we all shared, and how it continues even with their passing.

The nightmares stop, and the guilt fades, because I know that I'm living how I want, which is what they all wanted for me. The war is over, and Panem is moving on. The girl on fire fading into legend, and the mockingjay is once again just another pretty songbird. I'm no longer needed, so I can just be me.

And with Gale, I'm finally complete.

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><p>Last chance to review!<p> 


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